Friday, June 8, 2012

Back from Africa... On to Texas

Well, I guess I kind of left everyone hanging. We are back from Africa. I am so glad we didn't take that extra trip to Rome, because as it was, it was one of the busiest months of my life. We were blessed to attend a wedding of dear friends in Minnesota. It was one of the nicest weddings I have been too... after my own of course! hahaha

A lot of other things happened too. I worked. It was actually a very rough few weeks. It was wonderful to be back with my girls, but the last week almost killed me. We had "baby boom", and it made for a little extra stress.

We went to Fort Worth with Nolan's beautiful sisters to find an apartment. Mission accomplished. We are living at AMLI: Upper West Side.  It is beautiful and the poshest place I have ever lived. I am not sure if poshest is a word, but I think you get my drift. Simply lovely!

Other things we did in May...
NOLAN GRADUATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enough said.
Nolan's graduation party at his parents.  We had tons of people and even more fun... although I am pretty sure our mother's had less fun trying to feed the group with silly Abby there to forget the lunchmeat. Oooops!
Memorial Day in Brown County. I got to meet all of Leana's family finally. It was a beautiful day.
Wedding in Lawrence County of JW and Stephanie. Another beautiful wedding.
We got a cat. Portia. And yes, I have turned into one of those annoying people who post pet pictures. :)
Nolan built a storage shed with help from his dad, Trevor, Drew, Elliot, and me ( maybe a little?)

The 2nd worst part of May was moving. I love living new places, but detest moving. I could go on and on about its horrors, but well, I think everyone agrees moving is horrible.

The worst part of May though was a bit more serious. I feel like if you care enough to read this, you should know. I am not asking for sympathy, and this may be selfish, but just letting it out makes me feel better.  I will just spit it out.. I had a miscarriage. It was very early, but it hurt so bad. I cried all one day, most of the next, and then it has progressively gotten better. God was my strength with Nolan right behind. I am not mad as I know God has his reasons, but simply sad.
Nolan and I found out on a Monday and less than a week later it was gone. It was one of the best weeks of my life though, despite the horrors of work. I was so good, I did everything right. We were so excited. Nolan had already talked about getting a minivan and we had so much fun planning how we would tell our families. Sadly, the day before we were going to tell them, we found out the worst. Instead of telling them they would be grandparents, we told them they were grandparents to a baby that would never be. MacNugget, that's what we named him. I am glad we did as now I know he was real and someday maybe I can meet him. It took 3 home tests and a serum blood test for me to believe he was real, and by the time I truly had accepted it, it was already probably too late for him.

Several good things have come out of the situation. I have to focus on the good, because life isn't fair. God didn't every say it would be, but Americans seem to think that they are guaranteed fairness. God only said that he would never give us more than we could handle. That is my comfort.
It confirmed to Nolan and I that we are as ready as we will ever be, which is one good thing that came out of the situation. 
It proved that I can get pregnant, which is a good thing. I haven't been the greatest to my body, and while I know that God has all power, I know actions have consequences, and I feared the worst.
It brought our families closer together.
While I know losing a baby this early is nothing like losing a child or an infant, I think it can help me to better help mother's in my job. I would never say I understand, but I can say that I have been through something similar. I know how much it hurt after only one week of knowing, I can't imagine having known my baby for a month, or a year, or more.  Making it through something like that is hard to imagine, but I know many have had to go through that experience, and I truly a little better able to understand.  
Oddly enough, it got us a cat. We weren't going to pay the extra fee for pets and such at our new apartment, but after the miscarriage, Nolan realized we both needed someone to take care of while we were hurting. Needless to say, Portia is one very spoiled cat and probably will be until we can have something more substantial than a kitten. She's cute and all, but well, I am a human baby person!

Ok, well, sorry to make this so heavy. I promise they won't all be this way.  I appreciate you listening/reading. I feel truly honored that individuals would care to hear about Nolan and I's adventures. We are blessed to have you!


1 comment:

  1. Abby and Nolan, I am so sorry for your loss. Byron and I went through this same issue when we lived in Brown County. It was a jumbled, sad, confused, and highly emotional time. However, we moved on and we were blessed with William. Good can come out of a seemingly dark time in your life. God knows things that we do not know and he is with us through those dark times, just as he is during the good times. It is how we handle these dark times that our faith can be strengthened or weakened. It sounds like yours has strengthened. Hugs to both of you! Moya