Thursday, August 23, 2012
I have recieved some very nice cards, emails, etc and I just wanted to say thank you. I know no one is probably dying to read the blog every day, but I hadn't posted in forever, and just wanted to give an update.
The above picture is Nolan and I at Lowe's. Exciting huh. Well, whenever we get an evening off together, its a pretty big deal, like that night at Lowe's. I only work 3 nights a week, usually, but it seems like so much more. Nolan wouldn't tell you this, but on nights I work, he usually stays at the hospital until midnight. He's a keeper... he says he does it so the nights I am home, he can not stay late. That makes me feel guilty, but very very lucky to have such a caring husband. I don't like to brag on facebook, because I don't want to make all the single people feel bad, but I am going to brag a little bit here. I never thought I would find someone so wonderful, having never even dated in high school. I thought I would die an old maid. Well, that just proves God knows what's best, and he knew I needed a friend, a best friend, my Nolan. Ok, enough mushiness!
In some ways, the past few months have flown by. When I realized there was only one week of August, I laughed. That can't be true, I thought. My job is getting easier, or I guess I should say I am getting more comfortable. I have learned a lot at this new, bigger unit. I've seen a lot more to make me sad, but I know it will make me a better nurse.
The hardest thing to see is the parents who have tried years and years to have a baby. That scares me to the core. I know its only been a tiny amount of time since the miscarriage, but to think, some people have struggled with this for years both makes me sick, but also inspires strength. I have bad days and its only been 3 months of this, while some of these families wait for years! I worry I will get to old. I worry we won't be able to have a houseful of kids like we wanted. I worry about money. I worry about Nolan's residency. Basically, I worry too much. (Stay with me, this is not supposed to be depressing) Sadly, the hardest thing for me is seeing all of the pregnant or new mom's on facebook. Mom and Nolan remind me to be joyful, and fight jealousy, but it is so hard, even harder when you realize some individuals don't try hard, or even at all to make the precious gift of life. For some its an "accident" This is true at work too. So many babies have no one, or worse, have someone uncaring and unloving. Pray for Nolan and I to be patient ( mostly me) as we wait for whatever God decides. I trust in him, and if he wants us to wait, I'll wait. There are so many blessings I have that I often forget when overcome with jealousy.., some of which I will tell you about below. As the song says, "Count Your Many blessings..."
1. Living in Texas. While I miss everyone immensely, living away as a couple has been great for our relationship as husband and wife. You learn that having each other is the most important human relationship. We all know I was way too much of a chicken to live away from home before, but Nolan is truly half of me now. On August 4th, we had known each other 6, YES 6, years!
2. My new job. Not just because Texas is nicer about taxing working people, but because I am learning so much, and have much more potential for growth here. I won't go into details, but we have much sicker kiddos, and the need for Level 3 NICU nurses is high, so I think the hospital will have more interest in training me than in Lafayette.
3. Portia, enough said. Although, I will say we both have been bitten way too often. She's kind of a maniac!
4. Mom and Dad are coming to visit next week! McAfee's in October ! and Connie, Wesley, and Jesse in November! We would love for more visitors. We have so many good restaurants and places to take everyone. One place has a 7 lb burrito! Your'e probably thinking, who cares about Abby and Nolan, I'll come for the burrito! When I heard about that burrito, I said Nolan, "It's not a burrito as big as your head, It's a burrito as big as your leg!" I'm hilarious, I know.:)
5. While Nolan and I do not have children yet, we have been blessed with so many experiences that would not have been possible. I look foward to becoming a full-time mom, and that would not have been possible, while Nolan was in school. I couldn't have become as good of a nurse ( I still have a ways to go!) We couldn't have traveled or lived in Africa. When I think on these things, I am reminded, God is in control and he will never give us more than we can handle. That gives me peace, as it should to you too.
I hope this has not seemed like a rant, or pity-party. I miss everyone, and would love to hear from anyone! I am not spectacular at initiating phone conversations, but I would love to talk/chat/write to anyone back in the colder part of USA.
Miss you all,